The Sphincter Election of 2004

[barondave]

Hmm... some sort of phraseology is being passed around with a request to post it on your LJ. I'd rather simply quote myself, from my essay on the Sphincter Election of 2004, where conservatives voted out of fear of attack, and other butt-clenching concerns:

People voted their own sphincters, and they voted against the sphincters of others. Once again, the extreme right is more concerned about other people's sex lives than they are about values like love and commitment. Personally, I approve of committed monogamous relationships between people who love each other. But to give the devil his due, the evangelicals have made their point. We should define marriage just like it's defined in the Bible: Arranged marriages to multiple partners with concubines on the side.

The aftermath of the Sphincter Election has left me with one marriage option: Before the next terror attack, I have to find a woman with a large dowry.